Glengarry Glen Ross

Glengarry Glen Ross is a great play written by David Mamet. The movie has an all star cast and adds one scene where Alec Baldwin rips four real estate agents a new one on a rainy Chicago evening before they go out and work their leads. Below is a take on that my friend Mike and I wrote in grad school related to proposing for research grants (the setting is the Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics at Stanford around 2000. Some of the terms are specific to Stanford)......

Propose

Scene:

026 conference room

Cast:

Blake: Professor, head of research lab

Williamson: Post Doc

Moss, Levene, Aronow: 3 Bumbling PhD hopefuls, working in the lab,

Blake: (smoking a cigarette) Let me have your attention for a moment. ‘Cause you’re talkin’ about what, you’re talkin’ about (takes last drag of cigarettee and puts out), bitchin’ about that circuit you shorted, some son of a bitch capacitor gets overloaded, some coed in the class you’re TA-in’ you tryin’ to get on, so forth. Let’s talk about something important.

(to Williamson) Are they all here?

Williamson: All but one.

Blake: Well I’m going anyway. Let’s talk about something important.

(to Levene, in back getting a piece of pizza from table) Put that pizza down. (walk closer) Pizza’s for proposers only. (Levene chuckles) Do you think I’m fuckin’ with you? (Shakes head once) I am not fucking with you.

I’m here from upstairs, I am here from Springer and Sally (Note: Dept. chair and coordinator) and I’m here on a mission of mercy. You’re name’s Levene? You call yourself an engineer you son of a bitch?

Moss: I don’t got to listen to this shit.

Blake: You certainly don't pal ‘cause the good news is your funding is dropped,
the bad new is you’ve got, all of you’ve got just one week to get it back,
starting with tonight, starting with tonight's proposals.

Oh, have I got your attention now? Good, ‘cause we're adding a little something to this month’s lab contest. As you all know first prize is being PI (Note: Principal Investigator) on the next grant, anybody want to see 2nd prize? 2nd prize is a new soldering kit. 3rd prize is
your fired! (Pause) Do you get the picture? Are you laughing now?

You got topics, Springer and Sally paid good money, get their names to generate grants. You can’t propose for grants on the research topics you’re given, you can’t propose shit, you are shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it ‘cause you are out.

Levene: The research is weak

Blake: The research is weak? The fuckin’ research is weak? You’re weak. I’ve been here for fifteen years…

Moss: What’s your name?

Blake: Fuck you! That’s my name. (Moss chuckles)

You know why mister? ‘Cause you rollerbladed to get here tonight and I biked on a $2,000 Cannondale. That’s my name.

(to Levene) And your name is your wanting. You can’t play in a man’s game, you can’t propose for them, then go back to EV (Note: Escondido Village grad. student apts.) and tell your roommates your troubles.

Because only one thing counts in this life. Get them to grant money in the Department’s name. You hear me you fuckin’ faggots?

(Pause, go to board)

A B P, A Always B Be P Proposing. Always Be Proposing, Always Be Proposing.

S S D L, Sacrifice Separation Decision Labor

Sacrifice – Have you sacrificed your social life?

Separation – Are you separated from the real world? I know you are ‘cause it’s fuck or walk, you propose or you hit the bricks.

Decision – Have you made your decision for Christ?

And Labor.

S – S – D - L , Get down there, you’ve got sponsoring agencies making offers. You think they offer money to people just to account for their budgets? An agency don’t make a request lest they want to fund. They’re sitting there waiting to give you their grant money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

(Moss shakes head)

What’s the problem pal, you Moss?

Moss: You’re such a hero, you’re so smart. How come you’re coming down here wasting your time with such a bunch of bums?

Blake: (Pulls out calculator) You see this calculator? You see this calculator? (Yeah) This calculator cost more than your Desktop PC! I was granted $970,000 last year, how much were you granted?

You see pal that’s who I am and you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good IM Football player? Fuck you, go run a post pattern. You want to work here, propose!

(To Aronow) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse you cocksucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a review? You don’t like it, leave.

I can got out there tonight with the materials you got, write myself $15,000 in grants, tonight, in two hours. Can you? Can you?

Go and do likewise, S S D L

Get mad you SOB’s get mad!

You know what it takes to write a good proposal? (softly) It takes brass balls to write a good proposal.

Go and do likewise gents. The money’s out there, you pick it up it’s yours. You don’t I got no sympathy for you.

You want to go to the lab tonight and propose, propose! It’s yours. If not you’re gonna be shinin’ my shoes. And you know what you’ll be sayin, bunch a losers from a failed startup sitting around in a bar, “Oh yeah, I used to be a research scientist, it’s a tough racket” (takes sip of mock drink)

(Pause to get something from backpack)

These are the new RFP’s (Note: Requests for Proposal). These are the DARPA RFP’s (Note: Defense Advance Research Projects Agency) and to you they’re gold and you don’t get them. Why? Because to give them you is just throwing them away. They’re for proposers.

I’d wish you good luck but you wouldn’t know what do with it if you got it.

(retrieved calculator from Moss)

And to answer you’re question pal, Why am I here?

I came because Springer and Sally asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fuckin’ ass because a loser is a loser.